2009

Well, last night was pretty terrible, we fought from the moment he got in from work till about 10:30, about our marriage of course... I couldn't take it anymore so I went to bed, so Happy New Year, the only person I have actually said it to was my mother thismorning when I called to see if she was going to the gym, which she wasn't. I went however, I just needed to get out of here for a while.

He is still sleeping... my friends from Florida just called, I was there with her last year, we had a blast, I miss her, she's more like a sister to me than a best friend, we have known eachother since I was about 3. Our families celebrate the holidays together, her parents are my second family, I can go to them for anything... her mom sold us this house...

Ahh... Florida sounds nice... I could have run on the beach thismorning rather than spending 20min digging my car out then going to the gym for an hour and a half.. oh well.

I hope my life in 2009 finds happiness, and that I can find my old self, because I miss her, she was a fun person... right now i'm just a miserable 23 yr old who doesn't act or feel 23... but rather about 50 or 60... though I know some people that age who act 23 so...

Some people keep telling me not to bother with the therapy and to just leave... I do want a divorce but then he makes me feel so guilty and I don't hate him and I do care about him... which makes things so much harder...

Day 1 of 2009... and so far... it sucks... it can only get better right?