It's hard to process everything right now, my mind is confused, my heart is confused, and I want my life, our life back. It's really over.. no trying to make things work, no nothing, just two people who still love each other getting a divorce...
He loves me, but doesn't want to hurt me, and thinks he's not good enough for me, and no he wants to get a job with the DEA and I told him that was fine (the job) but he said he can't bring me into that life... I'm not sure what life that is, but it's got to be better than the one I'm living now. Right this minute it seems I've lost, or I'm about to loose everything in my life that makes sense.
I love him. I was so overwhelmed by his issues and taking on so much, I needed time and by the time I figured out what I really wanted (to really try) it was to late...
So here I am, 23 yrs old living as a guest in my parents house... in the same bath tub I soaked in growing up... with a cup of tea... wondering, wishing, hoping, but knowing it will never be the same and we cant get back to that place.
Yesterday I started moving things out, it was so hard leaving my own home... I'm not done yet, so much stuff to get out... and I just want to stay... it's not right. Maybe someday it will make sense to me, and I will understand all of this, but today is not that day, and I am just wishing he would call me and say... come home.
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I'm sorry love....
ReplyDeleteI'm really sorry. Could you guys try counciling?
ReplyDeleteDivorce is probably one of the hardest things you will EVER go through. It's almost worse than someone dying. My sister went through a divorce a couple of years ago and they had a child together, I still don't know where she pulled the strength out for that one. one htng you can feel lucky about, is that you don't have any children. I will be honest if I didn't have any children I would be GONE.
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